New Shooter, Comin’ Out! The Nevada Predicto
We’ve heard in the past that our Predicto post is one of the more antiticpated posts each week. But that was probably back when Purdue football wasn’t something that immediately depressed those invested in it and was ignored by those not invested in it. So it got us to thinking – even if each of us only spend 300-400 words analyzing that week’s game, you’re slogging through 1500-2000 words on….. Purdue vs. Nevada. And this isn’t 10th grade English class where you’re forced to read two chapters a night, so we’re changing it up.
This week, each writer is limited to 100 words on the game and then must also answer the question: What is the best gameday snacking plan? That is, what are your favorites, the best, etc.? Please feel free to chime in below as us fat guys are always looking for additional suggestions when it comes to gorging ourselves.
The parameters given:
Let's say you have the couch to yourself, an afternoon of CFB on.... Give me your favorites. Either unquestioned favorite or top couple...no more than three.
Away we go…
For a number of Saturdays each year, the setup is exactly what you described, except I'm upstairs at the computer instead of on the couch. CFB on the iPad, might be playing games on the computer, might be doing a post-match writeup, but definitely watching foobaw. I head downstairs to get a snack, and come back with ...
1. Breadsticks. Might be Papa John's, might be Hot Box, might be Pizza Hut, might even be "cheesesticks" from Papa John's or garlic cheesy bread from Donatos, but it's a stick or a stick-like object, and it's not exactly pizza. Because it's a long day, and many a rookie has sidelined themselves by hitting the main dish too early. Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to put that pizza box down, because there are two orders of cheesy bread here, and while I will eat it all myself if I must, I think it'll be better for everyone if you help where help is needed. Pizza will reheat just fine. Breadsticks?
2. Insomnia cookies. A wise person plans ahead. Get a six-pack after the Friday match in Holloway, eat one in the car on the way back, then set the box next to the computer and give yourself something to offset all that cheese. Go easy on them, sport. It's still a long day, and you did save some of that pizza for the late game, and you can't go to bed on just pizza.
Those are far and away the top two. Things get scrambled a bit when CFB and VB and NASL overlap - and later in the year, when basketball starts up, it's time for a breaded tenderloin with cheese and jalapeños, doesn't matter if it's men's or women's because that concession stand in Mackey is always open. And if you end up at a Colts or Pacers game, then it's Katy bar the door, because there is some F-O-O-D you can get there. But for now, breadsticks and cookies.
Oh. That thing on Saturday. Purdue's bad, Nevada is worse, remember when the Mountain West was supposed to be the better half of the WAC? Enjoy the weather, and if you must, watch two patient offenses meet two defenses that have no problems giving up slow scoring drives.
Purdue didn’t show *any* signs of progress versus Cincinnati, and though our Boilers opened as 5.5 point favorites over Nevada (I know) I can’t predict a victory until I see that defense be a smidgeon better than horrendous. Terry Malone’s offensive playcalling has been a definite improvement (and might have saved Hazell last year), but Ross Els’ defense has been utterly disastrous.
If we win, it’s a shallow victory against a mediocre opponent. If it’s a narrow loss, we’ll just have to watch the tape. If Purdue gets blown out, I’m not sure Hazell survives the weekend.
Now, more importantly, the necessities of a laid-back gameday:
- A lighter-body beer. A Belgian, an English Pale Ale, anything you can down a case of to drown your sorrows. If the Purdue game necessitates some whiskey (or if you’d like a nightcap for the late Pac 12 game), I’d suggest Monkey Shoulder, the best value scotch you’ll find.
- Buffalo chicken dip is the unquestioned greatest football-accompanying snack mankind has ever concocted. [For the record, this is the correct answer, class. – J]
- Pretzels, preferably a big ol’ bowl, for stress-eating applications. Barreling through a bag during a stressful 4th quarter (something Purdue hasn’t had in…two years?) helps soothe the nerves.
It's year four of the Hazell trainwreck and nothing has changed. Purdue still looks like a bottom-third MAC team and now they're a little banged up. Thankfully, Nevada is not a great team either, but all that really guarantees is three hours of nearly unwatchable football. I want to say that Purdue will win, but doing so requires leaps of logic that have resulted in me face-planting on my predictions in the past. So I won't overthink it, and just go with my gut. Purdue loses, and thus we all lose:
I don't really eat snacks when I watch football. Mostly because my house is infested with tiny humanoids that grab and cry and beg whenever I bring out food. But when I do have a snack, I prefer popcorn (white cheddar, please and thank you) as a starter. For the main meal (which begins at halftime, or between games, because the last thing I want to do is listen to any commentator on BTN or ESPN), I'll go with "nachos" (rice, mexican style sour cream, lime-infused hot sauce, cheddar cheese, ground beef if I have it, with Lime Tostitos) or pizza, preferably stuffed crust because I'm a fat gross American. To drink, usually coffee in the morning (ahh West Coast livin'), cold brewed with half-and-half and no sugar, transitioning to water around mid-day, and finally, a hard cidar or pale ale in the evening.
Purdue v. Nevada...a poem by Boilerdowd.
Looks like the good guys are picked to win.
Is Vegas right? Tune into EsPN News, to find out, my masochistic friend.
Blough's big uncontrollable arm needs to be tamed,
Markell Jones will be running behind a line; partially named.
Will Yancey's motor run for four quarters, will Domo's hands be sure?
Good thing there's always an Anthrop waiting somewhere on the roster.
The defense needs to figure out how to tackle, and this weekend wouldn't be too soon.
After all, Nevada, a bowl team, will be visiting at noon.
Coach Haze has the boys focused, and the details are right.
No dropping the ball before TDs, if you want to win this fight.
Good news- Malone's offense looks better than Shoop's used to look.
On the other hand, the defense reminds us all of when Hudson held the playbook.
Some things have changed, but sadly most feel the same.
I think Purdue will win this one...but might not not win another game.
[Note that Bdowd didn’t stick to the word count or send in his snack choices. He follows a game plan like a Danny Hope-coached team.—Ed.]
Never has a 1-1 season felt so hopeless. Would a win here turn it around in any way? I guess it’s better than a loss. Purdue has no business losing at home to this Nevada team. Nevada is not very good, not from a power conference and already came to the state of Indiana to get whipped by ND two weeks ago. Markell Jones and David Blough should have a field day…but my confidence is not high right now.
When it comes to eating, gameday snacking is one of the most fun experiences. Last weekend, my sister’s family came over and she and my wife made cheese-wrapped pigs-in-a-blanket, buffalo chicken dip, Stromboli and apple pie with a crumb topping. Good lord.
But if I’m left to my own devices, the following make for a wonderful afternoon:
Triscuits and cheese – cheese and crackers are a staple of gatherings everywhere, but Triscuits are far and away the best. Original flavor, please, with just the right amount of salt and crunch. Mix in some extra sharp cheddar and sliced swiss and the day is good.
Buffalo Chicken Dip – there are ways to make this that aren’t as good as mine. You should come over and have mine. Use an “extra hot” version of your favorite buffalo wing sauce (Frank’s will do), Philly cream cheese, some ranch dressing mixed in and a Mexican shredded cheese mix. It’s also critical to have the proper dip delivery vehicles – I highly recommend Tostitos “scoops” or those Triscuit “thins.”
Chocolate chip cookies – you can never go wrong with chocolate chip cookies. I tend to stay away from sweets when snacking and prefer the saltys and hots, but perhaps my biggest weakness in the world in chocolate chip cookies in general.
As for libations, some light beer during the day is fine and keeps you appropriately “lubed” and perhaps your senses deadened as you watch Purdue get run over by an inferior-conference program in front of 12,000 clinically depressed spectators. Once the sun goes down and the kids go to bed, though, some Ketel One vodka or any number of bourbons will take over – I prefer Buffalo Trace, Woodford Reserve, Maker’s 46, and for a more “whiskey” specific option, Gentleman Jack always warms my soul.
Enjoy the games Saturday, everyone.