Danny Hope is Available
Coach Hope is available – maybe even for birthday parties – and would be “a valuable member of any football program, university staff, and community.” But don’t take my word for it – Danny himself is here to tell you about it. Just go check out his site…. Are you ready for this? I mean, really ready?
Ready for a website that is pure gold and just is a treasure trove of Dannyisms?
Okay, here it is: http://www.coachdannyhope.com
Yes, Danny Hope has a website that is basically a Danny Hope commercial. That is, if we at BS were writing a tongue-in-cheek Danny Hope employment appeal rife with Hope-ish wording and gags. A few highlights:
Charles Daniel “Danny” Hope.
Who knew his real given first name was Charles? Damn, we could have made some hay with that.
Coach Danny Hope, former head coach of Purdue University and storied FCS program Eastern Kentucky University, has been a part of numerous championships from the high school through the BCS level of football, and part of some of the most successful program rebuilding stories in college football.
Is he taking credit for Purdue’s turnaround under Joe Tiller when he was an OL coach?
On his resume, Coach Hope has the record for each season, along with “Coaching highlights.” Some fun ones include, in 2012:
Second coach in 30 year history of football program to go to back to back bowls
Uh, what? I guess I know what he means but this reads as though he thinks the program has only been around since the early 1980s.
Played National Championship contender Notre Dame down to last play of game and undefeated Ohio State into overtime
These are highlights? These are actually two reasons you were fired, Charles.
Little Caesar’s Bowl Champion
Dear lord, we used to lampoon him as though he believed this was a real championship. But he really does.
Team led the nation in kickoff return averages, making them the first team in the history of the program to lead the nation in a statistical category; player Raheem Mostart led all players individually; Kicker Carson Wiggs became the all-time leading field goal kicker in the history of Purdue football
Where do I begin?
The first team in the history of the program to lead the nation in a statistical category… holy shit, we’re reaching now, aren’t we? And besides, lots of practice at kickoff returns means you’re being scored on a lot.
Raheem Mostert’s name is spelled wrong. Just can’t beat that from a guy who loves his players.
And of course, if I were going to challenge you to make a few jokes at Coach Hope’s expense, you’d definitely write some proud things about Carson Wiggs, right?
Under 2009, he has more about the most exciting kicker in the nation:
Placekicker Carson Wiggs completed 59 yard field goal (longest in country) in win against Ohio State
Wait….how is that a “coaching highlight”? Was Carson coached so well he could hit long FGs? Or is Danny giving himself credit for….putting Wiggs in that position? So many questions.
He has an entire section on “Post Season / Championship Experience,” but the only championship I can see is the 1983 Florida State High School Championship at Manatee High School.
As you can see, I have been committed to my players, my programs and the game for over 30 years. I am fully prepared to impact any program at any level. To learn more about my coaching style, qualifications and expertise, please feel free to contact me at…
A lot of guys would have an agent or a PR person to handle inquiries. Not Coach Hope. He is inviting prospective employers to give him a call.
NOTE: I do not want you knuckleheads calling Coach Hope and bothering him, unless you’ve got a football coaching position to offer him. Seriously.
For all this guy’s flaws as a head coach, he loved being the coach at Purdue and wanted nothing but success for our favorite program. And he had some issues with Morgan Burke’s leadership, so there’s something we can all get behind.
In the meantime, enjoy.