What’s Being Said About Darrell Hazell and Purdue Football

What’s Being Said About Darrell Hazell and Purdue Football

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A lot of times, it seems like it’s just us and a drunken, pantsless Travis ranting about Purdue football. And usually, that’s exactly the case. However, Purdue football has become so atrocious that others are finally beginning to notice. Sometimes it’s frustrating when Purdue basketball is good but nobody acknowledges it, but conversely, this works to our advantage during football season. Purdue being the beige of college football (or metallic beige) can be good when you just don’t want to be noticed. Pat Forde of Yahoo, of course, drew some attention by reporting that Hazell was coming back for 2016:

Hazell has the worst winning percentage in school history (.188) for any coach who was at Purdue for longer than one season. 

Oof.

So don’t delude yourself, if any of you still were. This isn’t “like” the worst eras you can remember – this is the worst era. This is it. The bad, ol’ days.

Oh, but it’s so bad, here’s some of what Jesse Temple wrote:

Illinois rolled past Purdue, 48-14, though both teams entered the day with the same conference record. Instead, the Illini demonstrated the cavernous gap that exists between the programs.

That’s right, folks. The cavernous gap between Purdue football and a program that’s been terrible for years, recently fired their AD and just a week before the season fired their abusive, moronic head coach. Purdue football is looking up at that program, in terms of success.

This week, Purdue athletics officials reportedly decided to retain head coach Darrell Hazell for another season in 2016. But Saturday offered yet another example why his three-year tenure has largely been a disappointment. Hazell is now 6-27 at Purdue, and the biggest reason for being retained likely has more to do with his $6.6 million buyout. 

It’s hard not to notice just how terrible that 6-27 record is and now we’re not the only ones taking note of the absurd buyout that Morgan Burke agreed to. As always, we’re contractually obligated to point out that without the FCS cupcakes being removed from the menu very soon, Coach Hazell is actually winning at a .100 clip – 3-27.

More from Temple:

Purdue had 23 yards of total offense on 18 plays halfway through the second quarter, when the Boilermakers opted for some kickoff trickery that backfired. Senior Frankie Williams caught a kickoff at the goal line and flipped the ball to Jarrett Burgess on a reverse. The play went nowhere, and Burgess was tackled at the 4. Purdue gained 18 yards on the drive before quarterback David Blough threw an interception. Illinois capitalized when Lunt connected with Ferguson on a 12-yard screen pass that went for a touchdown, giving the Illini a 20-0 lead.

Trick plays when already getting whipped at home and unable to generate offense against a mediocre defense. Yet more evidence that this coaching staff is directionless.

As for our ongoing assertions that Purdue’s athletic department is too cheap to consider a major shakeup, let’s see what Coach Tiller has to say about it:

“Purdue is pretty close to the buck, and they’re not going to pay him that kind of money to (buy him out),” Tiller told Yahoo Sports. “People have asked me during the course of this fall if coach Hazell is on his way out and I said, ‘I don’t think Purdue will replace him for at least one more year, and maybe two.’”

Awesome!

Of course, Coach Hazell won’t talk about next season.

“We have not had those conversations. I’m not sure which media started that but Morgan and I will talk after the season,” Hazell said Monday.

Oh, sorry, Darrell. I think we might have been part of that. But don't ever call us media again.

“I think we’re heading in the right direction, for sure, absolutely, 100 percent certain we are heading in the right direction,” he said. “Obviously, not on the wins and losses but are we getting close? Absolutely.

Heading. In. The. Right. Direction.

Oh, obviously not wins and losses... oh, right, okay, good point. At least he's acknowledging we're not heading in the right direction in that category. Err, but, wait, what's that mean? The dreaded "practicing well" situation again?

I mean, to be fair, as the captain of the Titanic, you do need to go down with the boat. You can’t run around screaming and looking for an out. Especially when you have a $6M lifeboat available right when it submerges.

“We’re like this right now (up and down) and that’s the thing I talked to our team about (Sunday) night is you can’t play here one week and play here another week.”

“Up and down”? What part of Purdue football has been up at all? Are we really pointing to the Nebraska win? A shaky win over a team starting a former walk-on whose season is in the toilet? Sure, I know Nebraska won over MSU this past weekend, but let’s not pretend one has anything to do with the other.

The Boilers head to Evanston this weekend for a showdown with the Purple Warriors. The excitement that remains now is whether Purdue will unveil another uniform combo to get pummeled in or if they’ll find yet another way to rope us into watching any more games to completion.

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