Plaxico Burress Weekend Line: One Catch For One Wound

Picture courtesy of the funnymen at Tirico Suave.



So I got called out for in the comments of another post by an old college buddy about how I haven't written about Plaxico's idiotic move over the weekend. We don't normally allow goading like that to dictate what we write, but fine, my resistance is down... like a married, drunk Minnesota fan at the Metrodome.

As you no doubt know, Plaxico Burress went to a club in New York and had a concealed weapon on him -- a fricking felony in New York -- and further demonstrated that he shouldn't be carrying it (as though we needed any evidence of that) by "fumbling" the gun, according to reports, and somehow shooting himself in the leg. (I do love that he "fumbled." Gosh, Plax is usually so sure-handed!)

Now, I guess it makes sense that it went down like this -- Plax is a WR and so it only makes sense that he would "catch" a bullet rather than send one to someone else. (Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.) But seriously, how idiotic is this?

I don't want to hear about how football players are targets. Several people have brought up Sean Taylor and his tragic death during a home break-in last year. Yes, that was awful. And yes, unsavory characters could very well target other rich athletes. And so, presented with this knowledge, Plaxico chose to carry a loaded, illegal gun in a public place.... instead of:

- Not going to places where he feared being accosted
- Licensing his gun and getting a permit to carry legally
- Hiring bodyguards
- Any other option besides what he ended up choosing to do

And let's dispense with the "fear" issue. This wasn't about him being afraid somebody was going to rob him. He's in a public place with other large football players. And any club like this is going to cater to New York Giants and Plax had nothing to worry about in terms of safety (though, like I said, if he was indeed afraid, maybe it's not the right place to be). No, what this is about is ego. So many rich athletes can't figure out what to do with their money and so, in an attempt to be more "street," they buy guns. Allen Iverson comes to mind... what need did he have with guns? Besides to wave in the face of his girlfriend/wife/whatever?

Plax wanted to feel like a tough guy. And you know he wanted to show off his weapon now and then to impress people. And that's just so very sad. Show them that you're Plaxico Burress, man, and they'll be plenty impressed. And if that's not enough for you, figure something else out.

I've never really liked Burress. He's a malcontent who has, incredibly, NOT ruined the Giants locker room. I imagine this has something to do with the fact that WRs are always moody, distant little bitches. I also give a lot of credit to Tom Coughlin and some of the other players. In the end, Plax always played and seemed to play hard, so whatever BS went on off the field was somewhat forgivable. He didn't ever appear to be lollygagging like, oh, say, Randy Moss did in Oakland.

But when he become such a problem that the team had no choice to suspend him earlier this year, I was more worried and wished there was a way to get rid of him. Yes, he's great to have on the team because he pulls out incredible games now and then and almost always draws the best corners away from guys like Toomer, Smith and Hixon. But I'm fine with the Giants finding a way to get rid of him now. He's one of the only "criminal" types on the team right now and no Giants fan wants to be the Dallas Cowboys.

Thanks for the TD catch to win the Super Bowl, Plax. That was nice. But you made your own bed, completely. Have fun in the clink.

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