Please Shut Up Howie Long

I don't know about you, but I get really tired of the same commercials being cracked over my head again and again and again. And this is never worse than during times like NFL football Sundays or the MLB playoffs. Like Frank Caliendo and those endless FrankTV commercials in the MLB playoffs two years ago.

The MLB Network launched just this year and I think because they're new and not on in all markets, they probably have trouble selling all their ad space. So I think what they did was struck a deal with Chevy that whenever they have an open slot, they'll run that idiotic Howie Long commercial where he tells us how three models of Chevrolet get like 1 MPG better mileage than their Honda counterpart (like that's going to make people buy a Chevy over a Honda) and then wraps it up with the hillllarrrrious joke about how Honda makes something "we just can't compete with," and it's....are you ready because this is a gas?? A LAWN MOWER! I know! Get it? Because Honda makes lawn mowers, too? Geddit?? Awesome work.

Seriously, that commercial has been run so much this year that I truly want to kick in my television set every time I see it. And those followed last year's, where Howie mocked guys for buying other trucks from Ford and Dodge because they offered features Chevy didn't. So the solution is to make fun of them for offering... more?

But then there's one that's actually worse and it's right here, hackey writing and demonic child and all:



The whole "I'm a big girl" routine is just.... painful. And her psychotic, supposed-to-be-cute nodding at the end is just frightening. I keep waiting for her head to begin spinning around.

Also, just for fun, run the tape again and click pause at the 16 second mark.

Yes, she's pointing to Howie's junk and saying, "That's a big-girl seat." I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

So which commercials do you want to launch into outer space?

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