BS Off-Topic: Halloween Candy

BS Off-Topic: Halloween Candy

Halloween-Candy.jpeg

Yahoo recently tweeted about “popular” candy by state.

 

This, of course, led us all back to the annual discussion of what candy is best. So in the midst of all this angst over Purdue football and Aneesh’s uncomfortable gazes at Vince, let’s do a BS Off-Topic on the best candies.

As I said to my co-editors here, if you don’t have Reese’s Cups in your top 3, you’re wrong.

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Michael:

1.) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups 2.) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (mini) 3.) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (double cup)

I'm not a big candy guy but chocolate and peanut butter combined is a damn near religious experience. I don't hate people for liking something stupid like Sweedish Fish, but it will change my perception of you.

Boilerdowd:

Well played.

Reese's cups are numero uno for me...any form factor.

Twizzlers...any cherry or strawberry variety except goo-filled.

Pop rocks were the jam in the 80s...don't think they're distributed widely in Halloween anymore

Stay away from: black licorice, generic taffy, any fruit and wax anything.

Michael, we're candy twins. I love Swedish fish...forgot them because 40 year old brain no worky.

J:

I don't think Michael was saying he liked Swedish Fish.

Boilerdowd:

Man. He's really a jerk.

And I'm illiterate.

Dave:

Reese's cups are excellent. And I'm not just saying that to save my job. Junior Mints, plain M&Ms, York peppermint patties. Actually pretty much any kind of chocolate unless it has nuts. Even Mounds - I like coconut. (But not Almond Joy, obvs.)

J:

Well, if I had any power to fire you, the allegiance to Mounds would do it. Blech.

Boilerdowd:

Mounds sucks.

Dave:

HATERZ.

Aneesh:

I have so many thoughts.

1) Reese's are amazing, and definitely in my top 3. Also a fiercely debated topic among my circle: how do you pronounce Reese's Pieces?

2) Dave has the most trash taste in candy in the history of both trash and candy.

3) HOW ARE THERE ENTIRE STATES THAT THINK CANDY CORN IS EDIBLE?

4) Swedish Fish and Twizzlers taste ok, but they get stuck in your teeth for the rest of eternity and all of a sudden your teeth have degraded into high fructose corn syrup gummies.

5) The other two in my top three are Snickers (the undisputed king) and Kit Kats.

My honorable mentions: anything dark chocolate, peanut M&Ms, Buncha Crunch, Twix, Nerds, and Sour Gummies. My favorite controversial candy: Whoppers

Big shoutout to Rolo's and Caramello's.

I like chocolate a little too much.

Boilerdowd:

All of your other assertions are good (except the gummi whatever stuff- all bad)...Rolos are only good when from the freezer.

Rees-is

Pees-is

Aneesh:

WRONG

Reees-eeeez

Peees-eeeez

Dave:

I think we should all go trick-or-treating together so that I can eat all the trash candy.

We can go as the Board of Trustees. We can carry ledgers and nod our heads.

J:

How are Ryan and Aneesh's pronunciations of Reese's different?

Aneesh, I was ready to candy hug you until you got into some of those weird ones...and the one you made up, Buncha Crunch.

Peanut *butter* M&Ms never get mentioned but are basically Reese's pieces.

The correct answers here are:

Peanut Butter Cups Snickers Snickers Peanut Butter squares Dark chocolate of any kind Kit Kats 3 Musketeers (favorite as a kid) Milky Way Nestlé Crunch Sour patch kids

Why am I fat again?

Boilerdowd:

Killed it. Perfect list. Except add Milky Way dark, remove flavorless 3 muskies.

Aneesh:

Most Overrated Candy Of All Time: 3 Musketeers

Dave:

Candy corn is at the door. It wants to speak to you, Aneesh.

J:

Aneesh's comment on 3 Musketeers may be among the wrongest things he's ever said and, I mean, that's saying something.

Whoppers are the WNBA of sports. How's that grab ya?

Aneesh:

I LOVE WHOPPERS AND REFUSE TO GIVE IN TO YOUR PROPAGANDA

Michael:

All of the Whoppers, Three Musketeers, Candy Corns, and Mounds (seriously Dave wtf) should be rounded up and shot into the sun.

Dave:

Heathens, all of you.

Boilerdowd:

Candy corn is eaten by 90 year olds, my wife and people who lose bets.

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So kids, the lessons here are that if you fall asleep near anyone from BS, your Halloween collection bucket will be light by a few peanut butter cups when you awake. Oh, and if you get Mounds thrown into your bucket and are unable to trade for something more valuable (like a rock or a photo of Will Sheehy kissing his bicep), you can send them to Old Man Dave and he'll gladly accept them.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Be safe out there and Aneesh, don't go with the french maid outfit again this year. So tiresome.

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