Troy Aikman Pearls of Wisdom

It would be way too easy to start a stupid quote of the week feature around here so we'll just sometimes give you the random idiotic things people say. You know, like Chris Speilman, Sean Salisbury, Tim, etc.

In the third quarter of the Giants-Eagles game yesterday, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were talking about how the Eagles had gotten into the end zone twice while the Giants had a TD and two field goals (the score, for the slow among you, was 14-13 at this point). Troy, showing why he's Fox's number one color man said the following:

"You look around at teams and, more often than not, the ones that get in there and score touchdowns win games. And those that don't score, don't win."

Perhaps you should sit down, dear reader, because I know this comes as a shock. I should have prepped you before I just threw that nugget of wisdom up on the screen in front of you. Lord knows you may not have even had your coffee yet. I know that I responded by rewinding my DVR to hear it again and again because it was just that good.

I can just imagine Giants coach Tom Coughlin reviewing the tapes of the game and overhearing Aikman, backing the tape up, staring at it with his mouth agape and then calling an immediate team meeting.

Tom Coughlin: "Men, listen to me. I know we're 7-7 but we can easily finish 9-7 and make the playoffs and I have a foolproof plan to do so."

Michael Strahan: "Sure you do, coach. Sure you do."

Tom Coughlin [turning red]: "MICHAEL, I KNOW THE SOLUTION SO SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME OR YOU'LL BE FINED. BESIDES, YOU WERE ONLY 3 MINUTES EARLY TO THIS MEETING SO THAT'S A MISDEMEANOR RIGHT THERE!!"

Tiki Barber: "Take it easy, coach. I'm trying to see how the NASDAQ closed today. I'm a multi-talented, articulate man, you know."

Entire Team: "Yes, Tiki, we know."

Tom Coughlin: "Anyway, gentlemen, the secret to us winning is to score touchdowns. I know it sounds silly and that everyone talks about rushing yards and Eli not throwing interceptions and whatnot but trust me -- the secret is scoring touchdowns."

*stunned/disbelieving silence*

Tom Coughlin: "Eli, as the quarterback and team leader, is there anything you'd like to say?"

Eli Manning: " "

The Monday Night Countdown Idiot Brigade

ESPN: You stink.

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