Barbaro Fan Mail

There are a lot of things out there that annoy me. There are lots of stupid people out there, too, and I love to make fun of them, too. One of the worst epidemics out there currently is this irrational love of Barbaro, the horse who stumbled out of the gate last year at the Kentucky Derby, broke his leg and then was nursed back to health by vets at the University of Pennsylvania. The most irritating part of all this is that UPenn has put up a message board so that you can post "well-wishes" to Barbaro. I wish I were making this stuff up but I'm not.

Some examples are below -- actual posts are in italics with my comments interspersed.

Hi Barbaro - congratulations on the removal of the cast. Are you doing anything special for Thanksgiving? Continued prayers and best wishes to you. Sincerely, Kathy
Kathy Cates, 58; Houston, TX, USAposted on 2006-11-07 10:17:55

  • Kathy -- I'm a horse so I'm eating oats again for Thanksgiving. Oats, oats and more fu-king oats. --Barbaro

Sweetie pie! You got your cast off- congratulations! You've come such a long way and now you have to be very careful. Concentrate on growing that hoof & watch your step. I love you.
Judy; Manchester, CT, posted on 2006-11-07 10:08:34

  • Keep Judy away from Barbaro's stall or we might end up with a really ugly situation. "Sweetie pie"? "I love you"? Good gracious.

Great news sweet Barbaro - no cast! The miracle and our prayers continue..You are our HERO...we love you...
MaryCheck, 59; Live Oak, FL, USAposted on 2006-11-07 10:07:55

  • Miracle? No, folks. It's not a miracle and the vets at Penn aren't doing this out of the goodness of their hearts. See, they're being paid. And if Barbaro's family didn't think they were going to make a fortune on his mounting other people's horses and thus spreading his seed, they would have turned him into a glue stick long ago.

Barbaro, what wonderful news! But my friend go easy on your steps. Remember you are still delicate my sweet. Do everything you are told and eat well, but mainly stay happy. God be with you, all our love!
Jenny Estripeaut; Panama posted on 2006-11-07 08:12:38

  • Yes, Barbaro, Jenny is here to give you advice. From Panama. Among her nuggets is to "stay happy."

Barbaro, I hear you might be getting your cast off. I will be saying a prayer for you. I love you and am so proud of you. You are a true hero. You have never stopped trying. You are my inspiration!!! I love you!!! Take Care!!!
Amie Trotter, 33; Elizabethton, TN, USA posted on 2006-11-02 17:52:30

  • Oh, Amie. Not only did your hillbilly parents not know how to spell a three-letter name like "Amy," but they also were apparently such poor role models that a horse has become your "inspiration." And how about Amie's "I love you!!!" sign off? Is someone desperate for something to love? Maybe she really wants Barbaro's stud services....for herself.

I wish you could talk. I would talk to you Barbaro. I have been galoping in my yard like you. I hope your hoof gets better. did they shave it when you went to the Dr? get well soon friend
Joseph Dert, 5; Austin, TX, posted on 2006-11-06 16:45:02

  • I wish I had a friend. Barbaro, would you be my best friend? I think we should be friends forever.

Every day, when I walk my dog, I think of you. Hope everything goes well with the cast removal.I pray that you will,someday, be as pain free as possible.
Darlene, 53; Campbell, OH, United Statesposted on 2006-11-06 16:42:48

  • Every time I read crap like this, I think of smacking you in the head, Darlene.

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