Joe and Willie - A Short Play

SETTING: A Subway sandwich shop.

Hey, Joe.

Hey, Willie. Why the long face?

Don't be a jerk, Joe. You know what's going on.

What do you mean? No, really.. what's up? I've just been here enjoying my sandwich all weekend. I let Jorge manage. I like to do that when we've got the playoffs wrapped up.

*Eyes Joe suspiciously*

*innocently chews sandwich, wipes dressing from face*

*glances at menu*

So what did you do when you had things wrapped up?

I knew it! I knew you couldn't resist!

Sorry, Willie, but come on... the Phillies? Have you heard Charlie Manuel talk? He's borderline retarded.

Look, Joe, I've had a rough weekend, okay?

Okay, okay. *pause*

So who are you starting in Game 1?

Dammit, Joe!

Sorry! I just can't resist! The Phillies? Weren't you guys in first all season? Weren't we in last in like May? I can't remember because I really don't care. I'm just collecting a paycheck.

Whatever, Joe.

You should really order the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich.

Really? Is it good?

Pretty good. I enjoyed it all summer long.

Oh, that's cool.

*stifling giggles*
Yeah, then in September I had a Philly Cheese Steak and it was so good, I relegated the mesquite chicken and bacon sandwich to second place.

You're such a jerk, Joe.

I have an idea, Willie, this will make you feel like a winner all over again.

Joe, get away from me. Wha-- what are you trying to put on my head? Come on, Joe...

Just hold still... there we go. How's that?

Gosh, you know, I actually do feel like a winner in this.

That Was Frigging Awesome

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