Mike Ditka Is Impressed

Mike Ditka was on ESPN Radio this morning to discuss this weekend's playoff games and at one point he was asked about how great Shawne Merriman (pictured) is. Ditka went on about how great Merriman is and how he can do "some really good things" on the football field. And then he laid this wonderful comment on us:

"You know, he's always going so fast and so pumped up, you wonder how he's not dead-tired by the second quarter."

Well, Coach Ditka, you may wonder how this is possible but we here at Boiled Sports (and perhaps 16,000 other outlets) know the real answer: Because Shawne Merriman uses performance enhancing drugs. In fact, and this is going to blow your mind Coach, Merriman was suspended for a quarter of the season after being caught with a positive test! That's like being suspended for 40 games of a baseball season! Or 20 games of an NBA season! Coach, are you there? Coach...?

This, of course, was after Ditka ripped Rex Grossman for not being prepared and making dumb comments after his season finale -- which meant nothing for the Bears, so who gives a crap?

Another topic that Ditka talked about that just tickled me was the Baltimore Ravens and their blitzing. And, despite being an old codger who believes more in grit and hustle than statistics, Coach Ditka busted out a statistic... and then sort of made himself sound silly:

"The statistics say that the Ravens blitz 33% of the time. But I'll tell ya, I think they blitz a lot more than that."

That's outstanding. This like saying "The statistics say that Jim Rice hit 382 home runs. But I'll tell ya, I think he hit more like 500 so I vote him into the hall of fame."

Statistics lie anyway.

"PLAYOFFS? Don't Talk About..PLAYOFFS?"

Who knew? Gators eat nuts.