Farting, Bending the Rules, Angry Old Men... Our Kind of Fun

You've most certainly heard about cranky old fart Joe Paterno having his leg broken during Penn State's latest lackluster loss over the weekend, to the quietly 9-1 Wisconsin Badgers. However, there were some other great subplots to the game that Deadspin, for one, picked up on and that I just must share here.

For one thing, Paul Maguire was apparently eating bratwursts at the pregame tailgates and as a result was farting up a storm in the booth. This was reported on several blogs over the weekend and in the clip I'm including below, you'll hear them discussing Paul's flatulence immediately as the clip begins as well as around the 4:40 mark.

But the more brilliant parts of this clip include Wisconsin deciding to circumvent the new rule that says the clock must start immediately upon the kicking of the football. You'll recall that the clock used to not start until the receiving team touched the ball but the NCAA decided this would be a good way to speed up their games. You know, pick up 5 seconds here or there.

Well, Wisconsin just went offsides twice in a row on kickoffs with like 24 seconds left in the first half... each time, the clock started, ran a bit, and then the penalty was called and they needed to re-kick. It was brilliant. And funny. Especially hearing Brad Nessler sound sort of confused the first time he saw ten guys offsides at once, some of them by as many as 15 yards.

Penn State could, of course, have just declined the penalty and had the ball. But they didn't. They made Wisco re-kick, probably thinking that they might, you know, run the ball back all the way and wouldn't that just show them! The problem, of course, is that if the other team is running offsides by as much as 15 yards, it means the entire team is going to swarm your return unit before the ball even gets there.

And speaking of farts and poor coaching, that brings us to Joe Paterno. Joe thinks he's above the rules of coaching, the NCAA and public appropriateness. He gets pissy every time someone asks the nearly-80-year-old-and-clearly-senile coach anything regarding retirement, he wanders out onto the field like somebody's demented Uncle Cletus, he makes physical contact with referees at times and he is a generally obnoxious and petulant bastard when it comes to the media. Sure, I know it's not nice to make fun of the elderly, but hopefully you'll grant me some leeway here.

In the video below, you'll see Joe going ballistic to the officials about Wisconsin's threading of the loophole in the rule. Hey, Joe, you may not like it, but there's nothing illegal about it. Just decline the penalty, smart guy. My favorite part, though, aside from the fart jokes, is how (at about the 5:46 mark), Joe notices an ESPN camera near him and he gives them the "Get outta heeye!" scream like an old man on his front lawn on mischief night. I love it.

Just like Clubber Lang said...

Dumb Parents Rob Kids of Fun