Neither Chicago NOR Philly Are On This List

Lists are so dumb. 99% of the time they're created simply to foster debate, argument, etc. And that's annoying, because there's no way to win. Opinions are opinions and they're fun, but creating a defined 1-10 list is just so... official-sounding.

Anyway, Forbes loves to do the top ten [blank] cities in America (or the world, etc.). Fattest, fittest, hungriest, horniest, dumbest, smartest, handsomest, etc., it goes on and on. And while I've seen this one done many times before (who hasn't?), today I came across their 10 Most Miserable Sports Cities. And while I acknowledge I shouldn't even pay attention, some of it is just ludicrous to me.

Here's the list:

1. Seattle

Okay, I guess I won't argue. They lost a team and they've never really won anything.

2. Atlanta

This is more of a lame sports town. Nobody cares enough about Atlanta sports to feel tortured. Of course, the list is "miserable" sports cities, so I guess Atlanta qualifies. Though the Braves got to, what, four World Series and won one of them? I think most fans would take that.

3. Buffalo

Okay, again, hard to argue. But I might point out that they only have NFL and NHL -- no baseball or basketball, so if those two franchises aren't toeing the line, then you qualify as miserable? I would think you kind of need at least three major teams in order to suffer enough to make the list.

4. Phoenix

I get this one, but I just never got the feeling their sports fans cared much. It's like Southern California, always hot, there's other things to do, etc. Plus the Suns have been competitive and exciting for most of my life AND the Diamondbacks have been a contending franchise basically since their second season... and they won a World Series in 2001. I don't know, hard to be miserable, I would think. Oh, and how about the fact that many championships are held there? Super Bowls, Final Fours, etc. Doesn't that make it a decent sports town at least?

5. Houston

I live here now and so I have experience and can say it's not exactly "miserable." The fans are actually pretty good, very loyal and reasonably optimistic. The Rockets win 50+ games every year -- and won two titles in the '90s -- and the Texans are followed rabidly and appear to be improving. I don't know, I just can't see this in the top five of most miserable sports cities. People enjoy their sports here.

6. San Diego

Again, SoCal? Seriously? How bad is it? The Padres may not win World Series titles, but they contend seriously every 10-15 years. The Chargers have been consistently good for a while now, too. Oh, and they are another one (like Buffalo) with only two pro teams. And when the Chargers move to L.A. it'll only be one. Heh.

7. Denver

Come on. Seriously, this is where it goes off the rails. Denver is a pretty good sports town, with loyal fans and a good tradition. If you're a four-sport fan, you think of the Avalanche's dominance for a long run there, you think of John Elway, you think of the Rockies making the playoffs in their second or third season and then two years ago going all the way to the World Series. A lot of cities would take that. Oh, and the Broncos and Avalanche won four titles since 1996. Stupid to be on this list.

8. Cleveland

Okay, agreed. It's been painful for Clevelanders. We've all heard it many times and it's become a backlash creator -- when someone whines about Cleveland's lot in life, people are tired of it. But it's very legit. Do you think they'd take Atlanta's one title in 1995? Or Denver's history? In a heartbeat they would. They should truly be #1. Not only do they have a sordid history, but the fans are truly pained and are always -- always -- expecting the worst to happen. Optimism is nonexistent in C-town.

9. Minneapolis

Again, meh. The Twins won two World Series in the last 22 years and compete almost every year, which is a lot better than watching a sucky, losing, pathetic franchise. The Vikes have also competed and should have been in at least one or two Super Bowls over the last 5-10 years. And the hockey history is decent in Minnesota, despite losing a team.

10. Kansas City

I guess so. The Royals have been an abomination for years (though they have a title from 1985, which Indians fans would feel like was yesterday) and the Chiefs haven't done much in a while. But again, those are the only two pro teams -- so how painful can it be? Losing with three or four franchises would seem to be worse, but that's just my opinion.

So? What say you, dear readers?

Please, let this happen.

I love him.