Is There Anything Redeeming About The NBA Finals?

Okay, NBA and David Stern, you got the series you wanted -- Lakers/Celtics. Hoo-freaking-rah. And sure, I guess I'm a little more likely to take an interest in this series because of the two franchises and that's exactly what they want. But there's so little that's redeeming about these NBA Finals and it irritates me that people still worship these clowns. To whit:

- Why would anyone cheer for Kobe? Can someone explain this to me? I mean, other than Lakers fans, why would you like him? He's a transparent, backstabbing, childish, adultering (and maybe rapist), juvenile brat who pouts and spouts off when he doesn't get his way... and who never really knows what's good for him or the team. I give the Lakers front office amazing credit for the way they put this team together and resisted the urge to dump Kobe last summer. It turns out that the Lakers are freaking good now and that the players Mitch Kupchak was stockpiling have nearly all worked out, and they'll probably be good for a while now. It's not inconceiveable that Kobe and the Lakers will be back in the Finals on a regular basis for the next five years. Yet just a year ago, the little a-hole was saying he wanted to leave... then he didn't, then he did. Maybe he just didn't realize radio shows in LA could eventually be heard by people in New York and vice versa. Or maybe he's just a crazy little brat who should stick to basketball and let others run the team. Shut up and play and make your $20 mill, Kobe. Ugh. Who would want to see him win? He deserves a 23-59 season, not a title.

- The Celts big 3. Well, these guys aren't awful, I guess. But it's kind of hard to root for guys who cruise into town to cash in on a fortuitous situation and wind up with a title. Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen were their teams biggest stars for years and absolutely never delivered. Garnett couldn't get the T-Wolves out of the first round for years and probably sullied the image of Flip Saunders, which Flip is clearly still paying for. As for Allen, likable guy, but never a winner. If these guys win it all, will you feel happy for them? Maybe, I guess, since they've all been longtime players who haven't been able to win. But winning in a uniform they've spent the least amount of time in? I don't know. Also, Doc Rivers is not a very good coach. That will come to light in this series, I think.

- Nice start times, ABC/NBA money-printing machine. Yes, tonight's Game 1 begins at.... wait for it... 9 effing o'clock, Eastern time! That's nucking futs! 9 PM!!! This is inexcusable. I understand the Lakers play in LA and thus, it's only 6 PM there, but people in LA don't even work that late so why not start it at 8 PM, at least, Eastern time, so that people in Boston can kind of enjoy it. Morons. And don't even get me started on the wait time we just had for the Finals to start. How come the Celts first-round Game 7 with Atlanta was on the same day as other Game 1s of the second round? How can you begin the second round without some teams being out of the first? Oh, you're in a hurry to keep things moving? Fantastic. But then why have four off-days before starting the Finals? Ohhhhh, so games can land on the weekend. Well-played, NBA. Not moronic at all.

- The NBA's archaic 2-3-2 Finals format. And it's only for the Finals! Brilliant! And don't give me the "travel" argument. These teams travel on private charter jets with the finest creature comforts, replete with masseuses and probably BJs from fluffers. I don't want to hear anyone feeling sorry for these guys for having to take a couple of cross-country flights. I have to do that for my job oftentimes and I don't get days off in between and I also don't get, oh, you know, three effing months off after a project. And if you're going to use this argument that, well, the 2-3-2 cuts down on travel, well, then, okay, I want to see Games 1 and 2 on back to back nights, and then one day off and then Games 3, 4 and 5 on three consecutive nights, with one day off to go back to Boston for Games 6 and 7. But that's not how it will be done. These guys are so delicate that they get days off all over the place. Oh, wait, that's right -- it's for money/TV reasons. Even this Sunday's Game 2 (Game 2 not until SUNDAY -- if it goes 7, it will take two weeks; ridiculous) will be at 9 PM, Eastern. For what reason? Idiotic NBA.

So tell me... am I wrong? What's awesome about this series?

Sports Thoughts

I Hope Big Brown Does This On Saturday