Predicto - Purdue vs. Minnesota

Guys, this just in from West Lafayette: We're actually fielding a team this week. Minnesota comes to town once again to meet the wrath of a hungry Boiler team.

Predicto starts........Right now!

Thuffy Huff:

Our Boilers haven't had an easy week: getting assaulted on national TV, going 1-2 on Cradle of QB Sunday, and having Twitter blow up on our already fragile team. The team needs a redemption session - welcome back the Gophers. Purdue's got some nice history against the Gophers with a 6-3 record this side of the millennium. Let's be honest, the team is bad, but so are the Gophers. While we're floundering, I still believe they are rebuilding. Fortunately, our floundering is better than their efforts currently.

Purdue gets a chance to show approximately 20,000 fans they still know how to win. TerBush will get the start, but he won't set the world on fire with his performance. Wiggs will do what he does, but we aren't getting the record this year; Hope doesn't have the guts and he's lied to my face enough.

Purdue Wins easily 31-7

J Diggity Dogg:

Minnesota is positively terrible. They've lost games and in ways I didn't even think a terrible team would lose. And that's the only reason I feel confident in this game. Sure, the Purdue coaching staff will probably find a way to make this one a little unnerving early on or a way to keep it closer than it should be, but I think there's almost no way even their curious decisions can screw it up. That's probably way more confident than I should be about any Purdue game this year, but so be it.

Gophers: 10
Boilers: 38

Tim The Prettiest Ballerina Ever:

Minnesota is awful. AWFUL. In every way they are just terrible. They play every game like Purdue played against Notre Dame. But Purdue has a secret weapon...make that two secret weapons! They have two quarterbacks who are SO FREAKING GOOD that Hope can't decide which one to use. When he was clearly on drugs he witnessed TerBush play a terrific game against Notre Dame. What does that actually mean? I suspect that it means he "stayed within the system." That is, he went down with the ship and didn't struggle at all in the process. It that what Hope wants? It seems that way. Marve earned the start and hopefully can stay healthy the entire season.

What should happen in this game? Maybe Purdue will run the ball more than twice this game. Maybe the defensive line won't take a 3 hour nap on the field. Maybe the fans in the end zone will look away and won't dare reach their hands out when a good play is made at a critical juncture. We wouldn't want to be excited about anything. It might hurt the other teams feelings.

Two teams will play this game and thankfully because of college overtime rules, someone has to win. Maybe it will be like the late 90's and the score will be 97-94. I don't think so though.

Purdue - 31
THE University of Minnesota - 21

Bdowd Dowdy Dowderson III:

We've all watched Purdue languishing this season, but I haven't heard even the down-est-in-the-dump Purdue fan say anything about Purdue being the worst team in the conference...and they're right. Saturday, in front of 38,000 sometime-clapping, sometimes cheering fans, we'll see the worst team in the league...probably in stupid-looking uniforms (as Minny goes for yet another failed maroon/goldenrod/white color combo).

I'd venture to say the Big Ten hasn't had a team this bad since the 2010 Gopher squad.

Think I'm being unfair? Think I'm being a fanboy? Ai-ight, remove me from the picture and gobble up these delectable stats.

Minnesota is last in scoring offense, scoring defense, total defense, pass efficiency, pass efficiency defense, PAT kicking, sacks, sacks allowed, 1st downs allowed, 3rd down conversions, 3rd downs allowed and turnover margin. If I didn't mention a major category, they're probably in the bottom three in that one.

While they're awful...Purdue is just bad.

Goldy made Michigan look like a Bo-coached team last week in a 58-point shutout that left Michigan laughing and smiling at the end of the contest like they were the Homecoming Queen. Purdue might have a similar day...and as Purdue fans, we need to savor it.

TerBush won't start the game with a pick into quadruple coverage, and Bolden will actually get a chance to run the ball (again and again). After that, Hope, Nord and Emanuel can get back to being the geniuses they were v. SEMO. Purdue wins big as 38K people make an afternoon out of it in God's Country.

Purdue 35
Mini 13

Gopher Roadkill: Boilers Win Big in Ross-Ade 45-17

The Scale: UND