Football Jambalaya

Do you remember those movies wherein a girl would want to play a boy's sport (or go to a high school as a boy) and then hijinks would occur? Like Just One of the Guys back in the '80s, or She's The Man in more recent years. Well, doesn't it look like Pickles is the blonde chick who wants to play quarterback?

As Boilerdowd alluded to, we were both amused by his post-game interview on the field after squeaking out a win over San Diego State:

"I think we proved we're a pretty good team..."

Did you now? I mean, I guess if your definition of a good team is one that can barely beat a severely undersized, undertalented, outright-poor-even-for-the-WAC team that lost to -- who? -- Cal Freakin' Poly last week... and, in fact, led your team for most of the game and should have gone up 20-7 on a fumble at the goal line that, well, really wasn't a fumble because anyone watching the goal line camera could see the plane was broken. Well, then, sure, Pickles, you guys are a "pretty good team," I guess.

Earlier in the day, Kirk "I'm so pretty" Herbstreit said he was looking at the Domers schedule and he sees them as a nine-win team, saying things like, "I mean, who's going to be them? Michigan? [derisively]"

Corso then said, "If they lose today, they should disband the football program on Sunday."

Oh, if wishing made it so, Lee. And as for you, Kirk, you can stick that thinking right up your pretty-boy ass. Because it says here Notre Dame is going to be 1-3 after September. Because they're going to lose to Michigan, MSU and Purdue. Write it down.

Hey, "With Confident Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame offense in good hands." Good, smooth, ladylike hands. I won't spend too much time on this editorial hand job written by Brian Hamilton (maybe it's "Brianne" Hamilton?), but let's take a look at this actual snippet from the story:

"Just going out each and every day trying to get better and help the team win every Sunday ... er, every Saturday."

At the marginally Freudian slip, Clausen breaks into a wide grin. First things first.

Yes, because this shitty quarterback playing in the NFL is simply a foregone conclusion. Please. He's lucky to still be the starter on a 3-9 college team.

Big Ten's Poor Showings

OSU, you should be ashamed of yourselves. We as a conference get mercilessly mocked thanks to your performances in national title games. Yeah, yeah, I get it -- at least you get to the title games. And many of us are forced to make this point when our conference is disparaged. And damn you for making us not only defend you, but for making it that much harder. Because, let's be honest, you should have lost to Ohio yesterday. And there's no excuse for that... at home. If Ohio doesn't brain-fart and muff that punt, they've got the ball at midfield and a two-point lead. And then, after giving up that score to give OSU a 19-14 lead, the Bucks get some zebra assistance when a blatant block-in-the-back isn't called on another punt. Solid. OSU is going to get hammered in Cali next weekend. And I do mean hammered.

And don't think I didn't notice you, Northwestern, nearly losing to Duke for the second year in a row. Lake the Posts can spew Purple Propaganda all he wants -- Northwestern is not good and "Fitz" continues to be overmatched.

Big Ten Good Showings

The Penn State Nittany Kittens continue to put up impressive numbers against teams that apparently didn't really want to get off the bus. Nothing more intimidating than that "ROWR" kitty thing they play in the stadium after the Lions do something good. I also like the gay-ish "Love ya Lions" graphic on the scoreboard.

Joe Paterno continues to be his classy self -- when asked about Andrew Quarless, a player who was suspended for marijuana possetion but who wound up dressing, the cantankerous old fart made a wisecrack and then said, "I'm not gonna talk about any of that."

Yes, why should you, Joe? You're only the head coach (officially, anyway) who would presumably be the one to provide reasoning when your pothead players need to be suspended. Jackass.

Big ups to Minnesota who shocked even their most devout followers, blasting Bowling Green 42-17.

In other Big Ten dominance, MSU handled Eastern Michigan, 42-10; Wisco scored 51 straight points in a 51-14 win over Marshall; Illinois continued to show that defense will be their soft underbelly, giving up 21 to Eastern Illinois in a 47-21 win; Michigan got RichRod his first win in a snoozeworthy 16-6 win over Miami of Ohio; Iowa stampeded Florida International 42-0 while not starting bounce-passing Jake Christiansen; and IU took down Murray State, 45-3.

So while a couple of our members didn't look all that impressive, the conference went 11-0 for the weekend.

Time for East Carolina to be Ranked

I think it's time for the East Carolina Pirates to be ranked. And ranked in the top 15. They've taken down two ranked teams, including one top ten team. And if we're going to have rankings this early in the season, then let's put these guys in where they should be. And the networks and money-grubbers definitely don't want to hear this, but East Carolina could easily go undefeated now. Here's their schedule.


Not that I like agreeing with Lou Holtz, but the way Washington was penalized for celebrating a potential game-tying TD with two seconds left was, indeed, a shravesty. And it'll probably wind up costing Ty Willingham his job. Maybe the ND job will be open again soon, though.

Coaches Poll Shravesty.

Northern Colorado Wrap-Up