Week 2 BTB Roundtable

Well, the world-famous (if your world is kind of small) Big Ten Blogger Roundtables are back for another exciting season. Just like Watching Ellie. This week's is brought to you by the learning-disabled lads at Black Heart Gold Pants Brown Underwear Black Socks Blue Hat Purple Tie. (Oh, their name isn't that long? Oh, okay.)

Anyway, here are our answers. (Oh, what does that picture have to do with and of this? Absolutely nothing. You're welcome.)

1. Week 1's in the books. What surprised you about your team? Are you optimistic? Disappointed? (NOTE: Purdue does not apply here, so these fans must talk about Wake Forest instead)

How come I can’t be disappointed in my team even when it doesn’t play? And isn’t this about the only time Purdue fans are optimistic?

Okay, fine.

I think Wake was quite impressive this weekend – for an ACC team, anyway – and I think they’re a sleeper for a BCS bowl game. Think about it – the ACC is terrible (said in Bill Walton voice) and who else is going to contend there? Wouldn’t it just ruffle the precious SEC’s feathers if one of their two-loss teams doesn’t make the title game and a 0 or 1-loss Wake team does? I mean, while it would honestly be a travesty in some ways, I would somewhat enjoy it. I get so tired of hearing about how powerful the mighty SEC is and how they “beat each other up” and how it’s “so hard to come out unbeaten,” as though it’s easy-peasy-japanesey in the other conferences. And since we’re all tired (most of us anyway) of the ridiculousness of the piss-poor way the college football season ends, I’m once again rooting for a clusterf-ck BCS mess at the end.

(Bet you didn't think we'd actually review Wake.)

2. Beanie Wells' foot is definitely the top story in the conference. What's #2?

Poop is number 2.

Well, there are the obvious candidates for the number 2 story, such as Michigan potentially really being in trouble. Sure, they could catch on to the DickRod system and suddenly be good again, but why would that happen suddenly now? There were whispers that spring ball and all the practices leading up to the first game were worrisome and now it’s come to fruition. Even still, they’ll win 7 games in their sleep. But it does open the door for other Big Ten squads to get into quality bowl games.

So maybe the number 2 story is actually the fact that the Big Ten is up for grabs. Can Wisconsin take it? Will OSU handle their injury issues and keep plugging along? Or will there be a dark horse? It’s probably not Illinois since they gave up 52 (!) on Saturday (sure, I know it’s Mizzou, but really, if you want to be taken seriously you can’t be doing that). So could it be the Boilers? Haha, okay, okay, I know.

3. Admit it: you loathe DickFraudROFL (né Rich Rodriguez), but when Michigan scored that last touchdown, you were rooting for them to make the 2-pt. conversion.

No, not really. I mean, from the sense of wanting the Big Ten to do well, I guess there was a tiny part of me that realized how Michigan (of all teams) has been hurting the Big Ten the most in the last year or so. But no, I was happy to see them lose in their home stadium. Of course, it only reminds us Purdue fans that winning in the Big House is completely possible – just not by a Purdue team.

4. Is this weekend's slate of games actually less interesting than last week's?

I don’t know about that. I think there are some interesting matchups but early-season weekends are usually worthless and full of lopsided blowouts. It’s only been in recent years that teams have begun scheduling early-season matchups that truly test where there team is at that early juncture. Clearly, it’s a gamble because losing might seriously hurt your title aspirations. But on the other hand, winning vaults you way up – look at UCLA over Tennessee. And, truthfully, if you’re going to lose a tough game to a high-quality opponent, we all know you’d rather it happen in week 1 so that the voters have forgotten about it by November.

5. Don't you hate pants?

I do, actually. There’s nothing better than chilling in my underwear (boxers with monkeys or US flags are my favorites). Pants just get in the way of everything. Golf, staying cool, dry humping. What is always the drawback? That’s right – pants.

Crazy Crap! (completely off the topic...but hilarious)

The Bears Are Serious About This Kyle Orton Business